Emersyn is 6 days old today and is doing quite well given her prematurity. She has had ultrasounds of her head and kidneys, x-rays of her stomach and bowels, blood taken daily, breathing support for 3 days, phototherapy for jaundice, etc. She is now being fed breastmilk through a feeding tube. Her nurses had been concerned that she wasn't digesting all of the milk, but that issue may be resolved now that she's had a bowel movement.
Emersyn is the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. She is 2lbs 6 oz today and has opened her little eyes several times. I swear she recognizes my voice, when I talk to her she turns her head towards my voice and opens her eyes. Holding her is like heaven on earth. She is constantly kicking and moving her hands. She puts her hands up by her face when she sleeps. The nurses refer to her as feisty. She is such a strong baby, and my hope for her is that she continues to gain strength. Every day brings about a new issue, but we are staying positive. I've held her a few times and we are doing kangaroo care, but I am not able to pick her up whenever I'd like. I can't stand to hear her cry, and I'd love to be able to hold her and tell her that everything will be ok. That might be the hardest thing for me about her being here...I want to hold her.
Brian and I have been living in her NICU room. Our space, separated by a curtain from Emersyn's incubator bed and the lights nurses need to tend to her, is a 4x10 cube. We have a recliner and a couch that pulls out into a twin bed. Both are like sleeping on a rock, but we don't want to leave Em at night. We have been showering at my parent's house and then coming right back to the hospital. I am up every few hours eithering check on the baby, watching what the nurses are doing, or from being drenched by the night-sweats plaguing me. Luckily, I get fed for free by the hospital since I am pumping breast milk for the baby. The NICU is our home for the next 2 months, and while it's not comfortable by any means, we are allowed to be here constantly with Em and that is all we want.
We learned last Sunday that Brian has been removed from his deployment. His commander called to notify him, taking into account our child's health and the fact that Brian's mind will be on home affairs rather than the mission overseas. We were in shock for a few days after getting the news. Everything we've been through in the past month was directly because of his deployment and now it was getting reversed? We have been trying to make sense of it all. The news comes with a huge feeling of relief, as I can't imagine going through this NICU experience with my husband half a world away. He will have to resume his job in Dallas next month, but at least then he can visit us on the weekends. It seems as though a higher power was looking out for us, or had decided that we've been through enough already and deserved a break. The past month and a half have been extremely stressful, and I'm so glad I won't have to say goodbye to my husband while our daughter is fighting for her life.
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